This year has seen Nigel Farage say a lot of silly things, Harry Styles become incredibly good looking and somebody irrelevant win some reality show that doesn’t matter. Something that does matter however are awards, awarded by a teenager with a blog. Honestly. So without further ado ladies and gentleman, I present to you the first and hopefully not the last Godjam Typewriter Awards. Here are my winners:
Villain of the year- Nigel Farage
A bit predictable I must admit however Farage is a dangerous man. Remember that Bloke Hitler, you know that one who committed some of the worst atrocities seen on Planet Earth? The one who managed to convince an entire nation that Jewish people were an inferior race? Well Farage is the modern day Hitler, his band of merry man (UKIP) seem intent on creating their own Aryan Race. I imagine it’d be slightly different to Hitler’s, they’d probably be slightly overweight, white, straight and super rich. Farage isn’t the pantomime character he’s portrayed as, he’s a dangerous man. He a man that represents the views of the working class, he’s an ex-banker and just as bad if not worse than the rest of the muppets in Parliament.
Hero of the year- Russell Brand
To some he’s the bloke with the bad hair who married a popstar and uses words with far too many syllables however for me Russell is more than deserving of hero of the year. He’s inspired a generation to engage and become active with politics. Politics is no longer viewed as a topic for old white people with money, it’s for everyone. It’s something to talk about with your mates in college or at the dinner table. Brand has turned his back on a career that would have made him millions and instead now posts videos to his Youtube channel on a daily basis making little to no money. The profits from his most recent book Revolution are set to go on starting up a cafe to help reformed drug addicts whilst also using local and organic produce. What a bloke, he might wear robes and his Parklife rendition may have been a slight blip but Russell takes this one by a country mile.
Quote of the year- “It isn’t too difficult to breastfeed a baby in a way that’s not openly ostentatious”
What a corker. Poor Nigel well and truly put himself in the shit with this one. I’m more than happy to admit I had no idea what ostentatious meant however thanks to Google I can confirm Ostentatious by definition is “pretentious or showy display; designed to impress”. Yes Nigel, mothers keeping their newborns alive is most definitely “designed to impress”. Nigel you win tit of the year and quote of the year, congratulations on your double whammy although I must say it’s a bit ostentatious though taking two awards home.
Book of the year- Revolution
Yes I know these awards have quickly spiralled into a love-letter to Mr Brand but bare with me on this one. Take Brand’s name away from the book and it still stands to be my favourite release this year. I found revolution to be equal parts amusing, inspiring and intelligent. Brand’s natural dialect flows well into his writing style and makes for an incredibly easy read. The book uses quotes from other activists and often lends other ideas however this all builds to create a wonderful and well-balanced argument. From reflections to his days as a drug-addict to theories on reforming the political system, Brand is brilliant throughout. So, Mr Brand it is with great pleasure I award you book of the year sadly however this is your second award so you’ll have to sit at table four with Mr Farage.
Film of the year- There wasn’t one.
Dallas Buyers Club was definitely something different and Fury was a very average war film, sadly though this award is cancelled. I just don’t think directors are producing what they used to. Focus has fallen on creating movies that can have sequels and prequels and a spin-off and a t-shirt range in Primark. Nobody will say fuck me remember that film from 2014 that changed the game forever, this year is a year to be forgotten. All is not in vain however, this year there shall be a short film award to replace film of the year. Shame on you directors.
Short film of the year- Everything Bertie Gilbert made
Bertie Gilbert I salute you, while directors in Hollywood churned out The Hobbit: 9 and Avengers 203 you made some amazing short-films. These short-films that I imagine were created on a tiny budget managed to to totally outclass everything you’d find on an IMDB list. They were intelligent, diverse, fun and unorthodox. For those of you not subscribed to his Youtube challenge I beg you you to watch a few of his films and subscribe.
Festival moment of the year- Leeds Festival-Catfish & The Bottlemen
The boys from “the middle of nowhere” do know how to put on a show. Their thunderous set in the Festival Republic tent at Leeds Festival was something I can’t see myself forgetting anytime soon. Van Mcann and co packed the entire tent and despite their album wasn’t out for another month every single person sang every last word at the top of their voices. Anyone who had the privilege of being there will know the magic in that tent was something words cannot described, if anything it was something beyond words.
Album of the year- Find my album of the year at http://postmusicdepression.com/
My gig of the year- Childhood/Blaenavon @ The Cookie in Leicester
My first thought for gig of the year fell to Mac DeMarco however I’ve opted to pick two winners in Blaenavon and Childhood. I don’t live in Leicester however I’ve been to a few gigs at The Cookie and it’s a venue I fell in love with instantly. The Cookie is sort of Leicester’s answer to the late Cockpit, a last chance to catch bands before they hit the big time. The intimacy of the venue and the rawness of these gigs make them clear winners. Childhood’s album was one of the best this year and an incredible debut, Blaenavon have a beautiful e.p under their belt and I’d expect a full l.p next year that will rocket them onto the biggest stages around.
My festival of the year- Truck Festival
This year I attended Leeds Festival and Truck Festival and although Leeds pulled in the biggest names around, Truck was a humble and unique festival that in my opinion is one of the best around. With acts such as Peace and The Cribs playing Truck had a stellar lineup with many other acts spanning all genres. A bargain at 74 pounds Truck is without a doubt the best festival for those on a budget. From having stages in barns to an ‘Area 52 Rave’, Truck is a quirky and family-friendly Festival that is not to be missed.
Happy New Year, drink a lot and if you haven’t got anyone to kiss a midnight hug a cat or console yourself with pizza.
Godjam Typewriter 